when ur left alone ( no friends and no one caring about you –as you accept as true ) you’re going to imagine the worst scenarios than can ever happen to you by the interruption of the outside world; this is how psychology works . this is how your brain find a way to define what you feel exactly; by giving you images of the most unpleasant moments that you will face since your behaviours and your loneliness ; and even if they are just a trick from ur creative mind; those bunch of taps u made will set you on fire ; and not merely fire but literally on lava, sound like an exaggeration maybe . but you definitely will know what I am talking about . when you feel it boiling inside of you ; those emotions of confusion and the willing of quitting ; not knowing what to do .just because the consequences are your breathtaking horror scene
but in some point You are going to stand on ur knees not still but pretty half the way ; you will try to prove it wrong ; and eradicate all those thoughts our of ur mind ; but before this you will start a self questioning session ( that certainly will turn out your actual mode to a self blaming mode) : at that point you should know how rough is the matter you’re in . you should move ASAP or you’ll never will be able to fix what had broken . stretch your neurons and effortlessly fill some gaps ; gather all the attention to one direction (cut the thoughts from its roots )
But first let us go deeply and know how this session goes .
Basically these sort of questions are the ones :
- why M not special enough ?
- M I going to be alone for the rest my life?
- M ugly that’s why people keep rejecting me?
- Maybe its my fault?
- I need to change myself if I want people to care about me ?
- I thinks its me not being enough for somebody
You keep complaining until you become aware of something . something unexplainable And you know very well that there is no exit from what you have discovered : either you live with what you have . either you die and liberate them from what you had ; this is how you come up with solutions . very wrong , random and with a rush . but no blame ; in your case no logic accepted except help;
Back to the questions I have cited : Didn’t you notice that its the fears who speak in that moment ; perhaps the anxious from being alone ; I bet that you will agree on that because it is the one who determinate your precautions and the mind believes what it has been fed . you feared it now it becomes a fundamental fact : you cant go through it let along pass it!.
Lets take this very example ; you told yourself you are ugly that’s why people can’t stand you . the brain registered your words in a forgotten case , if you tried to ask yr brain in anytime he would give the only affirmation that he has and it’s your ugliness and that just because you unleashed the wrong declaration in the wrong time or in some point you measured your solitude by how much ur pretty ; and as you see the brain act like a machine : it show out what it had been programmed to show or in other words what shit you gave him to show.
In no matter of time you will regain ur ability to detect the right from the wrong You will pretend to be okay with this ; though you know exactly what it is and you understand that you can’t conquer your brain . you will keep pretending and pretending , trying to cope yourself with such solitude ; trying to describe it as normal telling your self / M born alone nothing changed / you will push yourself to be strong ; a hard wall; but guess what? Your brain can’t be able to believe you -according to your changeable beliefs- Because you gave him a basic truth ; and he felt it much more he lived the cost of that truth
So it becomes like a principle and he will insert it in every single context including every circumstance and every position . and from all of that you will find ur self in a game ; where you are the pawn and your brain is the king ; and I think its obvious who’s in control
That’s what they say .but what your brain thinks is quite the opposite . lemme elaborate more
When you told your self — people don’t want to stay around me because I m ugly– . your brain consider your loneliness; as a barrier ; that can protect you from what may hurt your soul and make you feel vulnerable ;it’s a manner of security, its what called self-defence that only your brain knows how to run it ; so now the brain is the boss . and your ugliness is the weapon ;
You definitely will ask me , how can my ugliness help me .
Imagine with me ; you have a crush on your classmate ; but in the same time the most popular handsome guy in the university has a crush on her too ..and unfortunately she chose him instead of you . you will feel defeated and heartbreaking and kind of depressed ; but your brain will comfort you by summoning the reason why she refused you or rather the fact that you previously know : you are unattractive compared to him ; that will make you less affected by the situation ; so you will admit that its her decision and maybe your not her type
After all we can agree on something _ the brain is like a mirror ; it reflex what had been put in front of it . in other words it believes whatever truth you tell and its behaviours depend on it :